Down on the river of the hanky panky, where the bullfrogs jump from bank to banky...

So this last weekend we went camping. I absolutely love camping but I haven't gone in a few years.

I was just lamenting to myself how, I hate that I cant do the things I used to love. Like camping and snowboarding, and water skiing. I was boo hooing about not being able to teach my kids these things and show them what I love. I'm just a boring couch potato now.

So when we got the opportunity to go on a ward camp out, I jumped at the chance, knowing that I would have a lot of kids there to help entertain mine. And quite honestly, that I would have someone there to do the COOKING! That is the most work! (I truly have become the laziest thing on earth. I constantly look for a free meal even!! so sad)

Anyway, we loaded up the tents, the dog, and sleeping bags. We left the stoves, brought the cannoli, and of course the MATTRESSES! I cant camp like I used to, on the hard ground. I've not only become lazy, but I'm a sissy! We ended up taking as much junk as we usually load for a three week trip to Utah, and drove the WHOLE 25 minuets to the camp ground. It was a trek!

There were no gators, or monkeys in the trees, but it was super fun to be getting back into the wilderness (Texas style) again.

Since this was the twins first ever camping trip I was really excited about them being able to go. They are getting super fun as far as travel and adventures go. They are lower maintenance and more independent so it is just fun family time, less care giving=more fun, if you know what I mean.

Not ten minuets after we got there, Gavin had already fallen in the muddy water and was covered from head to toe in wet grime. I then realized that I had forgotten my CAMERA! A travesty! And when Scott told me we forgot the tarp to lay the tent on, I decided that I would make the 25 minuet trek back home to get the stuff.

While I was at home, retrieving the goods, Scott called and told me he had broken a tent pole. So I stopped by Walmart to pick that up too.

I had loaded Gretchen up with me, so that Scott could set up the camp without worrying about her wandering off. She was acting really funny and I thought maybe she was just nervous about what was going on. After all it was her first camping trip too! For years, at least.

I gathered up all my stuff, went to Walmart, and as I'm getting back in the car I could smell this terrible putrid smell. Like the kids had left a cup of milk, or rotting meat in the back seat. I had kinda gotten a whiff of it on my way to the store, and I was thinking that maybe a fan or exaust system was going out in the car. I had just had the car cleaned, so I knew there wasn't any food or decomposing carcasses in there!

As I got on my way, Gretchen settled in and we hit the road, the whole 17.1 miles to the campground. I pulled up and started unloading the car, when I saw a smear of something gooey and brown!

Isabelle had been climbing around in the car, so I immediately checked her shoes for dog poop. They were just covered with mud, so I kept at my work.

I'm smelling this fetid smell even stronger so I decided I'd better start investigating. I climb into the back of the car, look over onto the seat and what do I see??? Yep you guessed it. POOP!

I wanted to kill the dog. She pooped in my CAR! Luckily I don't leave home without an entire economy size bottle of antibacterial wipes, so I got the poop cleaned up really fast. But then I felt like I could smell it every where I went. I felt like I couldn't get my hands clean! It was super gross. After a half of a bottle of Lysol wipes, I finally felt satisfied with the cleanup.

The only thing I can ever do when things like this happen is laugh. REALLY, is it just me? Am I really the Griswold mom? Are these things normal?? At the end of the day, after my frustration runs out, and I sit and reflect on my luck, I can only laugh.

After the poop incident, the camp out was a blast. My kids sat around the camp fire and ate strawberry, coconut, and regular s'mores. Because I am the coolest mom ever, who bought every variety of marshmallows I could find. PS. the coconut was a hit.

Can we have s'more, please??

They all took turns telling their own ghost stories, which was absolutely priceless. And Gavin BEGGED the entire time if we could start our camp out and get in the tent to go to sleep.

Finally Gavin got to "camp"!

HE was so cute. Isabelle, was super cute and wanted to explore, and I didn't hear any kid complain about bugs or being cold. They had a blast.

The only thing that was a pain, is that since MEN planned the camp out, we were the very farthest campsite from the bathrooms (no offense, men. You did great) and we had to drive our cars to the bathroom. Luckily though, I didn't have any kids wake up in the night for potty breaks.

GRETCHEN, however, could not stop going potty. I think it was all the dropped food and marshmallows. She was sicker than a dog.

I finally confined Gretchen to my chair. I knew she was going to be sick after scavenging around the campfire for all the scraps.

Finally about 1:00 am we all settled in and went to sleep. We had a restless night, but I didn't expect anything different, and woke up super early.

Although it was a lot of work, and super tiring for me, I am already excited to go again.

Though I have to say, Gretchen will be staying home....

Costa Rica-the extraordinary vacation...and the very-bizarre-unbelievable-bad-string of unfortunate events....

After weeks of preparation, organizing, planning and so forth--we had all the sitters in place, the lists made the bags packed and the alarm clock set. The beginning of the trip started smooth enough, we woke up after our itty bitty night time “nap”, gathered up our luggage and snuck out of the house without even waking the sitter.

Off to the airport, at 3:45 in the morning and we realize that we are driving on fumes. Finding a gas station at that hour proved quite bothersome, but after getting off the freeway two times only to be psyched out by a closed gas station, we finally pumped just enough to wet the tank and we were back on track. We arrived at the airport with our first class tickets in hand, checked in, in the “priority line”, checked our luggage with “priority” stickers, got on the plane in our first class seats and settled in all good and cozy. They brought us our little warm wash cloths and their finest American Airlines silverware and everything we needed to feel like we were being pampered. The flight was nice and smooth and there were lots of people Scott works with also in first class so it was just kinda familiar and fun. The vacation was off to the perfect start.

When the plane landed in Costa Rica, I was amused that the international airport was no bigger than a large barn, sitting in the middle of a dirt field with an air traffic control tower. If I had to explain it I would ask you to picture a large metal barn with no walls, only a roof with two enormous ceiling fans hanging from it and a few make shift walls that separated el baño from the rest of the general population. The plane LITERALLY pulled up to the front of the barn (I think we got a handicap parking space) and everyone got out into the parking lot. It was hilarious! As I walked down the stairs of the plane, I saw this wheelchair with a HUGE sign that said ARNETT printed on it in huge large print, probably a 72 on the font size. MORTIFYING! The airlines knew that I was a "patient" and I guess they considered that I would be completely immobile! I covered my face and said "no, no, no, por favor" as I walked by. The boy pushing the wheelchair obviously didn’t know that I was the ARNETT that the wheelchair was intended for, so he stood there for the rest of the deplaning and waited for me to get off (oh let me add that I was the first one off because I was on the very front row of the plane). That means 300 or more people got off after me and saw my name printed on the wheelchair!!! NICE.

So I was glad to be close to the front of the line, so we could get through immigration quickly. The faster I could get on the bus to the hotel the better--I just wanted to hide from the Arnett wheelchair. To my surprise and relief we made it through the lines in the front of the barn quickly and made it through immigration without a question or a sideways glance (I’m not sure what I expected, but I wasn’t thinking it would be quick).

We walked the ten feet over to the ONE luggage caddy, where all these darling Spanish boys were working hard for their tips taking all the luggage off and lining it up in neat rows. To my dismay and rising irritation we stood there for a good hour and lo and behold NO LUGGAGE. By the time we gave up and confirmed with the darling Spanish boys that there was no more luggage to put on the ONE luggage caddy, everyone that had traveled with us on the plane was now sitting on the bus waiting for us. There was one other guy on our group that had a bag lost, but we were the only ones with zero luggage. The airline told us that 6 bags had been delayed in Miami. Two of the six were ours. The only things I had brought in my carry on was my tooth brush, makeup and my twilight book--I wanted to travel light.

So on the bus we went, merrily on our way. Despite our mishaps at the barn, I mean airport, I was still trying to have a good attitude. It was part of the adventure right? Plus the people of Costa Rica were SO SO SO nice and absolutely darling that it was hard to stay mad (they are gorgeous people, Spaniards, like Antonio Banderas). Anyway it was like 90 degrees with 100% humidity and we were starting to melt. So after arriving at the resort Scott and I decided that we would go into town and get some clothes in hopes that we could wear something fresh to the dinner we were expected to be at that evening. We were out in the country and it was at least 20 minuet drive to the closest town. Now when I say town, I say that conservatively, it was really a cluster of buildings and lean-to’s. All the shops had dirt floors and no walls. Well, ok, there was one "normal" grocery store but it was totally random and completely out of place. Anyway we shopped all we could, and I ended up coming back with a relatively decent skirt and Scott found some swim trunks at the Super Mercado (or out of place grocery store).

We got back to our hotel, and washed up as best we could, changed our clothes and then we were off to the Welcome Reception for Sungard. It was a beautiful reception, flanked by the pool and the beach. Complete with little Spanish Sinoritas dancing in their Chaquita Banana girl outfits and they were walking around with mini-Antonio-Banderas-boys making themselves available for picture ops. It was really fun. The company had gifts made by the locals and a beautiful gourmet buffet and open bars (if you like that sort of thing).

After mingling and watching the local entertainment, we all migrated down to a huge outdoor candle light dinner on the beach. Super nice and elegant. So Im getting my plate of sea bass and octopus and was holding my dessert plate in my other hand, then what do you know?????? I FALL DOWN!!!! I biffed it! The fat lady fell! All my food went flying and I slid down a grassy hill. Oh yeah, did I add that there were about 100 people there???? Nice.

I took it in stride and got back up, miraculously free of spilled food and went to refill my plate.

Shortly after we ate, Scott and I snuck back to our room. After my near death experience, I was suddenly worn out and in quite a bit of pain.

When we got off the little shuttle that taxis people around the hotel grounds, there was this HUGE, and I mean HUGE army of enormous black ants marching across the stairs to our room and up the side of the rocky cliff that was right outside of the door of the room. I'm not kidding, it was a river of black. It looked like something off an episode of National Geographic show, "DEADLY SWARMS". There were MILLIONS! They were moving super fast and just flowing like a shiny black river. We got inside our room and I decided to take a bath, because my fall had left my back in agony. I turned on the bathroom light and what to my wondering eyes would I see? The tub, full of ants!

So we called the front desk and the cute Antonio Banderas people came running to our rescue and gave us a new room. So by about 10:30 pm, we finally got settled in our new room. I finally got to peel off my sweaty clothes and take a shower. Of course I had to put my dirty underwear back on, because I had no luggage!

The next day proved to be getting better, because where could we go but up? The airlines had called at 7:00 am to tell us our luggage was on its way, and even though we didn’t see them until about 11:30, the day turned out to be a wonderful day of relaxing by the pool and massages and pedicures at the spa.

Dinner that night was really fun, with a catamaran cruise at sunset and another dinner on a different but equally as beautiful beach. Gladly, I didn’t fall that night, and after the complimentary entertainment generously provided by Scott’s colleagues, I think my fall was a distant memory.

By day three I was so exhausted, and sore (probably from my fall) that I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning to go scuba diving. I was rather upset about it, but I had to give something up and the dinners were nonnegotiable. So we went snorkeling instead and got so sunburned at the pool we could hardly sleep that night. But it was overall a relaxing day and just what we needed to prepare for the next days events.

Day four, the last day of our trip, we got up early for a river cruise on the Palo Verde River. This one sounded fun, and we were joined by a literal “boat load” of the top management from Scott’s company. I was going to watch my step for sure and mind my manners (as always). We got to the river after a 40 minuet bus ride, and boarded the little boat that would float us down the river. It started off really fun, and the wild life was everywhere. As we passed by crocodiles and iguanas and exotic birds, our young guide kept commenting about how it was low tide and that the river was super shallow. Then what do you know?? We get stuck in the MUCK! We sat there for a good ten minuets, while the captain of the tiny boat revved the engine and tried to get us off the sand bar. Finally a rescue boat was in sight. The boat pulled up beside us, the captain and guide stepped off our little sunken boat, and drove away! Actually they were just turning around to try and come at us from a different angle and push our boat out of the mud. After that didn't work, the guide jumped in the river and started pushing. He was having NO luck, so Scott and another guy jumped into the water to push! The crocodile water! I had just got done telling Scott that there wasn't enough money in the world that could force me to put one toe in that water.

.

They pushed and pushed and still no progress. We had tried to tell the guide that dividing up the people on the boats, might lighten up the boat enough to get us free, and they were convinced that it would only sink both boats. After the failed attempts at pushing us out, they conceded and we split up. It worked like a charm and we were on our way. We floated for another 30 minuets, almost getting stuck a couple of times, and saw more exotic animals like scarlet macaws and white faced monkeys. After we exited the boat, and walked by the hive of Africanized bees that they had just burned out of their hole, there was a huge tractor sitting in the dust waiting with a “hay ride” type trailer, complete with a 14 year old driver to take us back to the bus.

We finally got back to the hotel an hour and a half late and finished the night with a beautiful formal dinner and awards ceremony. I was so proud of Scott for being counted among the best of the best in his company and receiving the recognition that he has worked so hard to achieve. If it weren’t for his hard work we wouldn’t have had the chance to go on such a fun vacation. Even though we had a few experiences that we will admit we never want to repeat, it was overall a super good-extraordinary-unforgettable vacation.